NEED SOME ADVENTURE, OPEN FOR ANYTHING, MUST INCLUDE ROBBERY

What’s up! My name is Lil J (Johnny) and I’m looking for a partner in crime. If you’re interested you need to be an adult. We’re going to commit some serious misdemeanours and my friends tell me I need supervising because I’m so crazy. I also need you to be smart because I don’t want to end up in jail, obviously. You also need to be badass, that’s just necessary ‘cause you can’t look lame while commiting a felony. My plan isn’t completely finished yet, but I suggest we start by stealing a car and a gun. A must for me is robbing the cornerstore because I’m out of candy and mam won’t give me any more. Me myself, I’m loyal and a natural follower, so I’m definitely not a snitch. I’m short, so I can sneak into small spaces if you need me to. I’ve also got a huge scar on my forehead, but you better not bring it up ‘cause I’ll kill you.